Lately I have had the urge to chop my hair again. I cannot remember the last time I kept my senses about me and didn't just go at it with the scissors....
I think the fact that I haven't cut it yet is pretty impressive, and really crazy.
If ya'll didn't know, I suffer from Severe Anxiety Disorder. S.A.D. yes, that is what it is called, and yes, it is a perfect name for it, haha. I have a hard time with anything and everything. From answering the phone, to responding to an email. But I deal. just like everyone else in life. As hard as it is, we deal. Anyway, today has been one of those days. If you are not familiar with anxiety, (and not the normal, everyone has it anxiety) then you may not get this post.
My anxiety changes. You cannot pin point my anxiety or what triggers it. Today, I did not have a nervous tummy, I did not have a "something terrible is going to happen" feeling. Today, I had a something is off and I'm just not as smiley as I know I should be, day. I reminded myself over and over that I am happy with my life right now, but unfortunately with the anxiety I have, reassuring yourself of something doesn't help. My thoughts tumble around in my head to the point that I am confused about every decision I have ever made in life!! And it is especially hard when you are a happily married newly wed! IT CAN'T BE GOOD FOR THE RELATIONSHIP!!!
Obviously if you know you are happy but your body won't let you feel the way you want to, you are going to have a pretty off and crappy kind of day. My thoughts run their course through my head all day, and I have to figure out what thoughts are real and what thoughts are just my crazy anxiety thoughts... To anyone who is reading this, you would think I am crazy. I am not. I promise. It's just my unfortunate routine. And maybe having that my routine makes me crazy... It's ok. I deal.
I have to figure things out in life. And going through life with Anxiety is hard. It was always hard, but being married with it is even harder. I'm lucky to have a good husband.
Aside from needing to get a small portion of my thoughts out in the universe, I was going somewhere with this! My hair!! Maybe me always cutting my hair has to do with my anxiety. I constantly need change. Constantly need something happy and smiley and short fun crazy hair is always a good way to make you smile. Or maybe I just like to cut my hair and am looking for a good excuse as to why I enjoy it so much :)
So it has come to this. I am going to keep growing my hair out, buuuut, since I am going back to my natural color, I need SOMETHING to make it not so, BLEH. I'm thinking something not so drastic but simple might just take care of that itch I've been having for a while. Maybe some Bangs on this head of hair will do the trick. What do ya think?
If ya'll didn't know, I suffer from Severe Anxiety Disorder. S.A.D. yes, that is what it is called, and yes, it is a perfect name for it, haha. I have a hard time with anything and everything. From answering the phone, to responding to an email. But I deal. just like everyone else in life. As hard as it is, we deal. Anyway, today has been one of those days. If you are not familiar with anxiety, (and not the normal, everyone has it anxiety) then you may not get this post.
My anxiety changes. You cannot pin point my anxiety or what triggers it. Today, I did not have a nervous tummy, I did not have a "something terrible is going to happen" feeling. Today, I had a something is off and I'm just not as smiley as I know I should be, day. I reminded myself over and over that I am happy with my life right now, but unfortunately with the anxiety I have, reassuring yourself of something doesn't help. My thoughts tumble around in my head to the point that I am confused about every decision I have ever made in life!! And it is especially hard when you are a happily married newly wed! IT CAN'T BE GOOD FOR THE RELATIONSHIP!!!
Obviously if you know you are happy but your body won't let you feel the way you want to, you are going to have a pretty off and crappy kind of day. My thoughts run their course through my head all day, and I have to figure out what thoughts are real and what thoughts are just my crazy anxiety thoughts... To anyone who is reading this, you would think I am crazy. I am not. I promise. It's just my unfortunate routine. And maybe having that my routine makes me crazy... It's ok. I deal.
I have to figure things out in life. And going through life with Anxiety is hard. It was always hard, but being married with it is even harder. I'm lucky to have a good husband.
Aside from needing to get a small portion of my thoughts out in the universe, I was going somewhere with this! My hair!! Maybe me always cutting my hair has to do with my anxiety. I constantly need change. Constantly need something happy and smiley and short fun crazy hair is always a good way to make you smile. Or maybe I just like to cut my hair and am looking for a good excuse as to why I enjoy it so much :)
So it has come to this. I am going to keep growing my hair out, buuuut, since I am going back to my natural color, I need SOMETHING to make it not so, BLEH. I'm thinking something not so drastic but simple might just take care of that itch I've been having for a while. Maybe some Bangs on this head of hair will do the trick. What do ya think?
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